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Punch Drunk
18th March 2002

Monday night was the scene of an exhausting training session where all the team played hard to win effectively against themselves. 'It's strange comming out here into the middle of the park to play with youself', commented a thoughtful Hawky. 'And besides', added an excited Crispin, 'it's fun beating yourself if there's no-one else to play with'.

So far as training sessions go, the silky skills that were produced just go to show how far the Tractors have come on over the last few months. Certainly all look far more commanding on the ball and there is little doubt that the shooting has improved vastly. On this note it should be mentioned that Wilko is quickly becomming a bit of a Dutch Master with his keen eye for the goalie and delicate lobs, intersperced with crashing drives. Saddam, Crispin, Tony, Oli, Gaffer, Guy, Dave, Garry, Ed and Mika all found the net as well, whilst Hawky countinued to work hard in the box.

Off the pitch it was reported that a certain TFC player by the name of Silky Wilky loves his shiny strip (inside out too), but when I muscled in to ask the lobster about his shell suit, he clammed up. Elsewhere Mr Keown was spotted in a Chelsea night spot after the match last Saturday with a young Ms Evans. Questions remain as to why he was in a tavern two days before a TFC game, and indeed why other TFC members saw him there. In a determined attempt to stamp out this drinking/gambling culture John Deere has docked them 2 weeks wages. When asked to comment he added, 'I bet I see them out drinking this weekend, young hoodlums'.

The following will be docked two weeks wages...