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TFC: 2003/2004 The dawn of a new season
25th August 2003

After a highly successful 2002/3 season FTC have enjoyed a long and well deserved rest, but with the impending daily training sessions coming back into the picture, all the players are now keen to gel down their mullets and crack on with this year's matches!

But what has everyone been up to in the off season? For starters, although much has been written in the tabloids about a Russian buying into the game by purchasing the greatest football club in Chelsea, the chairman, John Deere would like to say here that this is simply not true, and that there have been no offers forthcoming for the legendary TFC. Elsewhere in Europe, many of our continental friends have been dragging themselves from their pool side loungers to visit Fred's new Y-front emporium - `FRED'. Everyone at TFC is looking forward to their packets being enhanced this season by a lucrative deal from the big man himself.

Elsewhere, at an unknown location somewhere beneath El`Bowens Kwikimart on the Kings Road, Ed `Saddam' Suckling opened up his bunkers to host the annual TFC players party. And it's well that he did! Despite the best efforts of the assassin/head chef Juan, the old dictator of the TFC midfield was able to mince away with the TFC Player of the Season award for 2002/3, with Ben `the Hawk' Hawks swooping home to take the Golden Boot. Big Tim, overcome by emotion at winning that Cup for Keenness, was initially thought to have been seen kissing Tom Wilkins, but it later transpired that he was really in fact snogging his prize, a gnome.

Elsewhere amongst the categories the Gaffer was voted the player that the team would most like to sell (24%), Dave Robinson won `Best-Look-alike' (23%), Ed Burbidge won newcommer of the year (38%) with the Vipers sliding in as our most hated enemy (38%). Importantly a large percentage of the TFC contingent also expressed an interest is playing away this year with France, Ireland, Holland, Brazil and Iraq the most popular travel destinations.

So, what's there to look forward to in the season ahead? Well firstly there are some old faces rejoining the squad. Crispin `the smut' Utley returns from the ol'US of A after a season with Floydie and the New York Mets. So if you ever wanna pitch, just ask him! Secondly, Charles `Sunny-side-up' Brewer is back from Libya and is vowing to bring terror to the best laid defences on his return. The pitch remains as ever by the athletics ground, but this year we will be playing from 8pm to 9pm on Monday nights. The cost is as yet to be finalised but it has risen and the TFC bursar is presently in a half Nelson until he pays the £280 first instalment for the October to December portion of the year.

The web site, as you may have noticed, has also changed and it can now be accessed via www.philnb.net or even in time at www.tractorfc.com. The old site, www.tractorfc.freeserve.co.uk will not be updated from this point onwards and so click on the botton of this screen to add the TFC homepage to your favorites.

There are plans for a TFC Christmas party in November and if you have any thoughts let the Gaffer know, otherwise please do contact the me if you have any ideas, stories, articles or gossip on TFC, a club that once fought for its survival and is now evolving into brilliance!

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