__________________________________________________

Tractor FC [9] v's Vipers FC [4], 7th October, 2002.
By Fredrick Auld

Forget Rangers v Celtic, Arsenal v Spurs, and even Ipswich v Norwich - they don't come much bigger than the Tractors v the Vipers, and this game was no exception.

With fresh memories of last year's controversial defeat in their minds, along with the press' labelling of them as hopeless underdogs, TFC produced a display of football never seen before at Battersea Park. Opportunistic, determined, inspired, call it what you want - it was quite breathtaking to watch.

An early mix up between PNB and Ginger Tony didn't harm team morale with lone striker Hawke immediately replying with an early shot that took everyone by surprise. The butch marksman must have had his lucky thongs on as soon after he put TFC 3-1 up with an inspired deflection.

As expected, the Vipers tried to come charging back but found it difficult to find any fluency, mainly due to the well-marshalled and hard hitting TFC rear-guard. With rear-gunner Ginger Tony commanding the back line, the defence stood firm. Tackling like Trojans and hustling like hungry hounds, they made sure no Vipers sneaked through their tight lines. But it wasn't just a case of all defence - there were some goals scored which the TFC fans would like to put in a box and keep for ever.

The goals were shared around with Bournie chipping in with two long rangers but there were three particular strikes which stood out. Namely the captain's first, the Hawke's hat-trick shot and Fred's delicate poke. All were glorious in their own ways. PNB opened his account from a tantalising, floated cross from Hawke after some usual, tireless good work from Suck - pure class - and then the Kingpin completed his hat-trick with another magical swing of the peg before Fred - sporting a rather natty pair of Rio Ferdinand style winkle-pickers - danced through the Vipers defence to guide home a perfect cross from Ginger Tony on the volley. That was number seven and there was no way back for the Vipers then.

It was fitting that it was the captain who stroked in the ninth and final goal. No-one has done more for TFC football than the skipper without whose dedication and encouragement - especially to the young male players - the football club would be languishing in the brown stuff.

As the shell-shocked Vipers trudged off, the Tractors stayed on the pitch to congratulate each other with some well deserved arse-pats and mullet-stroking while the fans cheered and chanted for their heroes. "What a peformance from the lads", one young supporter screeched, "I love them all - epsecially the one with the tight red shorts who looks like David Hasselhoff". Like the night those red shorts were first unveiled - it was an evening to remember.

For the Tractors: Bournie[2], Gaffer[2], Fred[2], Suck, Adam, Ben[3], Tony
For the Vipers: Geordie, Es, Gafferson, A Clayton